once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
