Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
