I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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