You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
