I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize