I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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