it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
