just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm too high and old for this...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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