Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
