At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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