The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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