The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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