Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
