Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
