ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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