How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
