Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
