I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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