Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
