I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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