He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
