WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
