i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize
