you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
