do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
