I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
