margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
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