So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
