My cat gives me a boner
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
