Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
