The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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