I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
