Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
