Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
her vagine was all disorganized.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
