Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
