I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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