She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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