I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
