I need to stop coming to work sober
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
