"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
