Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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