i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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