I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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