our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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