my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Dignity is for republicans.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize