She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
