Your mouth is God's brothel.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
