Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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