I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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