STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
