Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
