Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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