dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
