You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
