I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
