I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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