Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
